so, tonight i was actually finished with my work early for the first time ever, and i was really excited about actually getting out on time for the first time in a long time, because it’s saturday night and my husband was home and doesn’t have to get up early for work tomorrow, so we could actually spend time together and watch a movie and have a drink, but no, the nurse replacing me was late because of the snowstorm, and then two fucking fentanyl patches were missing and since i’m the nurse it’s my fault (even though they were there at 3p) so i had to stay late to dig through trash and laundry and do paperwork and so i didn’t fucking leave until 1AM AGAIN for the fifth fucking time this week. and then i had to drive 10mph home because of the snow, and i got home and my fucking piece of shit car got stuck in the driveway three times because it wasn’t shoveled and my husband was in bed asleep, so i had to dig my fucking car out, and now it’s 1:40am and i’m wide awake while he’s asleep. i am sick and tired of working 2+ hours late every single fucking shift and never seeing my husband and having no life outside of work and sleep. i hate it. and now i have a medication error on my record and that pisses me the fuck off. i’m tired of all this shit.
day #3 of being sick with the effing flu. yes, i got my flu shot this year, but apparently some crazy mutant flu strain is making its way around my workplace and staff and residents are all getting sick. i went to a clinic on saturday, was diagnosed with the flu, given a script for tamiflu, and sent home. i filled the script ($114 for 10 pills, ouch) and i’ve been taking it as directed, but i’m just grouchy and grumpy that i’m home sick. this is the third day of work i have missed due to being sick. grump grump grump.
i’ve been watching beauty videos on youtube, like one does, and can i just rant a little about the term “cruelty-free”? there are so many ppl on youtube talking about their “favorite cruelty-free products” and all that, and then they feature products that may not have been tested on animals, but still contain animal by-products. guess what? if a product contains animal by-products, it’s not cruelty-free. the only TRUE cruelty-free products are VEGAN. how is that not glaringly obvious to everyone?
i really gotta get off of the internet, it’s making me more cranky. people are idiots.
so, i’ve been working as a nurse for two weeks now, and it’s good. it’s a lot, a lot to process, lots to learn, but it’s good. i finish each day pretty exhausted, and i come home and lay immobile on the couch with my laptop for a few hours. i’ve been orienting on the dayshift for the past two weeks, and tomorrow i start orienting on the evening shift, which will be the shift i am scheduled to work. i’m anxious but excited. i hear the med pass is a bit easier on evenings, which is nice! can you imagine a 26-person med pass??!? i will tell you, it’s overwhelming.
on friday i got my first R.N. paycheck, which was quite nice. i’d like to treat myself to something nice. i’ve ordered some of the new e.l.f. products, and i’m really excited because a) it’s inexpensive, b) it’s vegan, and c) it’s e.l.f. i’m thinking of perhaps placing my very first order of OCC makeup. i’ve been wanting a lip tar for forever, and their new concealer looks amazing.
in other news, today i had my first real haircut since i started growing out my pixie 15 months ago. just a trim to clean up all the split ends, but boy do i feel better, and my hair looks a million times better. it’s a little bit longer than shoulder length, with layers.
may 19th, 2012: i graduated from nursing school with my ADN
june 21st, 2012: i took the NCLEX
june 22nd, 2012: officially licensed as a registered nurse!
september 6th, 2012: offered my very first job as a registered nurse!!!!
after months of job searching, applying anywhere and everywhere, today i was offered a position as a registered nurse and i accepted! i will be working at a long-term care facility. i am SO EXCITED! my dream has finally finally come true: i’m a nurse, and soon i will be working as one!
my mother just told me that she believes god put animals on this earth so we could eat them.
my mother. my kind, sweet, compassionate, caring, loving mother. my mother who is a nurse. my mother who loves her cats. my mother who would do anything to help anyone.
she was pushing me to go to church. she is a christian, and she says it upsets her that my husband and i don’t attend church. my husband is an atheist, and i don’t know what i believe, i just know that at this time in my life, i don’t want to attend church, but if she wants to, she can and that’s fine.
somehow, veganism came up. now, i’ve been a vegetarian since 1999 or so, and although i dabbled in veganism off-and-on during those years, i’ve been vegan now since 2008 and i will never go back. this is often a point of contention for my mother.
i said to her, “i can’t believe you aren’t at least a vegetarian yet. you are so kind and loving, yet, you eat animals.” then she told me about how she believes god put animals on the earth for us to eat, etc etc., and then stated, “oh, but i don’t eat beef anymore.”
“why not?” i asked.
“because it’s mean that they kill the cow,” she replied.
“oh, so you don’t want cows killed, but it’s okay if pigs, chicken, sheep, turkeys, fish, etc. are killed?”
she just looked at me, and said, “well, no, but….”
“what is the difference between a cat and a chicken?” i asked.
“well, chickens are for eating, because they give us things like eggs.” long pause. “okay, well, i will never give up cheese and eggs and milk,” she said.
i tried to tell her about the dairy industry for the millionth time (cows are raped to become pregnant, when their calves are born they are taken away to become veal if they are male and dairy cows if they are female, dairy cows become hamburger, the dairy industry is murder, etc etc) but she decided she wanted to stop the conversation. also, she totally had hamburgers on july 4th— big bloody hamburgers that she cooked while i was in the kitchen making the rest of the meal (which was vegan) and i had to leave the kitchen because the sight and smell of cooking cow flesh was too much for me to handle.
it’s very frustrating. it’s frustrating because she says that veganism is a religion and a cult. i tell her that her religion may not have a huge impact on her world around her, but the way i live my life does, because i choose not to use animals in any part of my life. her choice to have chicken for dinner means an animal was murdered so she could eat.
i’ve been vegan for a long time (although tbh i wish i’ve been vegan for longer), and she has seen the slaughterhouse footage and asked me questions and i wish that she would have given up meat by now, but she hasn’t. my husband and i are living with my mother right now because we are saving up for a down payment on a house. we all get along well, and it has been working out really well that we are staying here. we help out with chores and cooking and we pay rent. i just can’t wait until we can have our own place again, especially so we can have a 100% vegan kitchen again. it just hurts my heart so much to open the fridge and see a piece of shrink-wrapped chicken laying there in its styrofoam container. it hurts that my mother seems to value her taste buds and the status quo over an animal’s life. i’m not going to push her, but i hope that in time she comes around.
i’m out of work this week with an inflamed nerve bundle on my right forefoot that makes it painful to ambulate. my foot has been bothering me for a few weeks now, but i just chalked it up to a) my poor venous return which i always have, which causes foot and ankle edema, plus b) it’s summer, so my feet swell more, and c) my job requires me to be moving about on my feet for 12+ hours a day. the pain has been getting worse, to the point where i have been limping around at all times, so yesterday i called my pcp to be seen. they were all booked up, so they suggested i go to the minor care services at the emergency room, which i did, only because i was scheduled to work the next few days and wanted to get my foot sorted. so, it’s inflamed nerves, which apparently is quite common, and the treatment is the injection of a nerve blocker by a podiatrist. said podiatrist is booked until friday, so that leaves me to sit at home with my foot elevated, taking NSAIDS po and icing the foot, until i can be seen.
i’m feeling like a useless human being since i cannot work this week, and i’m mad at my foot for being injured.
so, tumblr, any recommendations for movies to watch on netflix instant or hulu plus? any recommendations of good blogs to read? good books to read?